Monday, 5 December 2011

Not a robot...

So back to work after my slightly extended lunch find I'm being waited for my one of the FD's - no meeting booked, just expected me to be there and available and ready to answer a million questions at the drop of a hat.

And I did. Feeling a little better. But not much.

I manage to get through the afternoon. I can feel some of the humour resurfacing and I feel normal again. Then I'm asked a question, about a piece of software I don't use, and I don't know the answer. I apologise and suggest who might know the answer. The person asking the question is one of the kindest, most respectful men I work with. And he laughed, saying "it's nice to know that you're not a robot". I must have commented, or pulled a face. I'm not sure which, I can't remember, because he instantly apologies and tried to take it back, "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that it's nice to know you're human"

I tell him it's OK, I didn't take offence and he goes away happy.

But I think I am offended. Why would a simple off-the-cuff comment cause me such uncertainty? I have always prided myself on finding the answer. If I can't answer a question, I attempt to understand more about why I'm asking the question and what affects the outcomes. Thus, when I'm asked a similar question I can answer many variations of the original question. Apparently while being organised, and curious and competent, and trying to see "the bigger picture" I am ... what? Alien? Unfeeling? Cold?

I just don't know?

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